How Did Jesus Prevent Women From Falling In Love With Him?
Trust me, it is a very serious question.I was having this discussion with the better half of one of my accountability partners after reading the first comment on Lori’s blog.
After years of being misunderstood of her giving heart, Shelley finally came to the conclusion that it was okay to give and keep giving of yourself. So many years in my marriage, I was being told/programmed by my wife that I couldn’t help others, especially women, since they are going to end up falling in love with me and thus, I would cheat on my wife. Helping others were taking away from the fact I was not helping my wife with all of my attention and devotion.
I never once cheated on her. However, something else transpired in those 10 years of marriage. It is in my head that I equated the following: being married means I cannot help those in need.
Seriously.
After speaking to counselors on my diehard stance of never remarrying, inside I am trying to figure out “Why do I not want marriage for myself?” In my little head, I think that once I remarry, I can’t do the work that God has for me to do.
Talk about carrying around pieces of a broken covenant. Sheesh. Thankfully God is the only one who can mend my heart to anew.
Going back to my original question: so how did Jesus do it? He did wonderful works and had wonderful insight for both women and men as He walked on this earth. Surely one of those women thought He was “dreamy” or was it something so supernatural that everybody who met with Him saw Him for whom He really was: the Son of the Everlasting God.
In other words, is it even feasible for me to minister, counsel or encourage women just because I am a man?
But then I reminded myself of several things. If I am fully dependent on God, then:
- God is my Protector - He will protect me and setup boundaries when I need them
- God is my Wisdom - Whenever I give words of encouragement or discernment, it absolutely cannot be me speaking for me but God speaking through me
- God is Sovereign - One of my daily prayers is for God to give me the opportunity to give Him the glory and the opportunity to show others His heart.
If all of those points are always in full effect, then I can speak to anybody that God sends my way. He will protect others as He has protected me.
Naive of me? Perhaps.
Thoughts?
Hebrews 10:34 for you had compassion on me in my chains, and joyfully accepted the plundering of your goods, knowing that you have a better and an enduring possession for yourselves in heaven. 35 Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. 36 For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise: 37 “For yet a little while, And He who is coming will come and will not tarry. 38 Now the just shall live by faith; But if anyone draws back, My soul has no pleasure in him.” 39 But we are not of those who draw back to perdition, but of those who believe to the saving of the soul. (NKJV)
You know Joe, I have never considered that question. Nor thought. Fascinating.
I think you’re on to something in that there must have been a supernatural thing going on about Him. Obviously there was. But in this context I wonder now too if there was even more for that reason. My mind is bending here!
I agree with you that in the knowledge of these 3 things - God your protector, your wisdom and your realization of His Sovereignty it would seem that, by default I guess (for lack of better words) you would be covered.
Such an interesting thought Joe… I’m curious to read what others think..
I love how God moves because, just in the last hour, He answered my sincere question: how do I minister to women?
Simply, it is not what I directly say or do but how I walk and what I say. In other words, do I walk in faith?
I remember at this one job, company filled to the brim with believers, where one young lady was hired towards the end of my tenure. She brought it to my attention that I walked in complete openness, peace and joy with my relationship with God which she was a bit shy about her faith.
She told me something that has encouraged me since the day I heard it. She told me, “It simply amazes me how open you are about your beliefs and faith in God. It simply brings me joy.”
“Am I too much? Should I scale back?” as I half-jokingly responded. “Absolutely not. Don’t ever let up.” she responded right back.
As I told my friend tonight, “It is time to put the pedal to the metal and open up the throttle. It is time to shine His light nuclear bright.”
Happy Friday Joe,
Amen to your comment on Lori’s blog. Thought I would drop by and visit. I have a couple of thoughts on this post. Jesus’ walk on Earth was solely to do His Father’s will so His life on Earth was completely supernatural, and completely sinless…right from being placed in Mary’s womb. We as humans, live in the natural world and choose to have a supernatural relationship with God. Maybe when women saw Jesus, the experience was so supernatural that they were beyond having “natural” thoughts. I think the experience must have been beyond being gender specific. Just because Jesus was a man doesn’t mean He was seen as one. First and foremost He was the Son of God and then came to Earth as a man. I don’t believe Jesus looked at men and women differently, we are all first children of God.
This will lead in to the next part of my comment when you talked about ministering to women. You see we are backwards in comparison to Jesus. He is first the Son of God and then He was man. We are all of and in the natural world, “man” and then as Christians we are in the natural world but are living a supernatural life. We must go from thinking like man to thinking like a child of God…to be more like Jesus. When we minister to others, like Jesus, we shouldn’t see gender first…we should see the very heart of every one we encounter. When I see someone in need, I don’t first see if they are man or woman, I see their need, their heart…I see a fellow child of God who has a need that I can fill. Of course this doesn’t apply to all areas. There will be times when it’s wise to be more gender specific and to have certain boundaries. I’m talking more about the day to day ministering to those whom God places in our paths.
The absolutely best way to minister to anyone is to be a living, breathing, walking child of God, extending the fruit of the Spirit to absolutely everyone we meet. We need to see people supernaturally, as Jesus did. People will know when you see their heart and see beyond anything that the natural world sees.
Have a wonderful Friday Joe.
with many blessings,
Shelley
Shelley,
That was a beautiful response and more eloquent than I could ever write.
I have worked hard to see child of God first. It has just been recently that I have friends who are giving me warnings. It is nothing that I am doing or doing wrong but just advice to be careful.
My only hope in this world is that when people see my heart that they would see my Father’s heart. I guess in other word’s if I see them supernaturally, I hope they see me supernaturally.
I just want to press on with the work of God.
Joe
Interesting question — enjoyed the responses also.
I’ll bet there were women who were falling for him but he certainly must have had the discipline to keep things in check and not walk into those temptations that had to be there. It was a matter of focus.
mmm. I love what Shelley wrote in the last paragraph. This post is very interesting. Not just in the area of ministering to women, but friendships between male and female. (When Harry Met Sally comes to mind) -
Anyway, I have long struggled with relationships with guys– mostly on the avoidance side because I was “scared” of them. Recently, God is showing me all that I am missing out on and how unhealthy it is to be trapped in my own fears.
I was expressing this to a lady, and she just pointed out another great thought for me to consider at this season of my life: Intimacy with God trains us for intimacy with men.
Thank you for the three numbered reminders. I don’t want to live a life of paranoia or fear and think about people in a worldly sense. To see them supernaturally, through God’s eyes. What a refreshing reminder! (It seems so much easier to live this way too!)
When you are incredibly good-looking, with a head of hair perched on top of your head, like an exceptional, attractive loaf of bread, you can’t help women falling in love with you.
I’m sure that was the last thing on Jesus’ mind, as he had bigger fish to fry.
Fast-forwarding to today…I feel for him. I too, have to deal with this day in and out. Am I comparing myself to Him? Uh, no. Not even close.
Anyways, you can’t turn it off and on like a light switch. You just have to nod, smile, and move on…and to not fall for the first pretty face that looks your way.
Hi. Thanks for this post (ditto re the misc. replies)– I’ll be thinking about it and may repost with some reasonably intelligent questions/comments after digesting it all for a bit. In the meantime, please pray for me & my marriage. Sparing you the gory details, I realized in the throes of having to leave our long-time church a few years ago that I’d been there more for the people than for the Lord, and kind of ended up too eager for the attention, approval, etc. of our music minister, too. (No, nothing near adultary– but it doesn’t pass the Matt. 5:27-28 sniff test, I know.)
Honestly, the only thing that can get me past my shame and disappointment in myself is knowing that Jesus knows it all (figured it out long before I did, I bet! Der!), cares more about my marriage and family more than I can myself, and is still calling me/us to get involved in the church we now attend (irregularly). But I don’t trust myself to have right attitudes toward people.
Please pray for me. Thanks.