Now on December 15, 2005, I am left with nothing.

For one day, I went to work. I came home. I felt sorry for myself. I went to bed by 6PM. I was sleeping on an air mattress on the floor.

I got up the next morning at 5PM. I made a list of goals I need to accomplish:

1. Develop a personal relationship with God, whatever that means
2. Try to work on a relationship with my ex-wife so that we are not always stepping on eggshells around our son
3. Be the best father I could possibly be to my son, however that is done
4. Be thoroughly invested in the lives of my friends, care for them and love them as much as I possibly could

My friends, new and old, rallied around me. They will never know how much I loved them and wish nothing but the best for them. Without them, I am not sure where I would be at today.

My new job was great.

I was meeting all sorts of people.

Life was pretty good.

On the night of January 19, 2006, after I just laid my son down, my wife proceeds to tell me that that she left me on the premise that after two years and if I haven’t found a new girlfriend, that we might be able to reconcile our marriage.

I might have been a terrible husband but not even I would cheat on my wife during our seperation. Actually, what should she expect of me?

If. I. haven’t. found. a. new. girlfriend.

For the first time in our time ever, I exploded.

If you ever seen a 6 foot 5 inch, 300lb guy lose his head, I got to imagine it is a sight to behold.

I drove home through wave of tears. I was suppose to workout with my brother. I was squatting 600lbs and leg pressing 1300lbs that night.

The next morning, she called me while I was on my way to work. You got to be kidding me. My end of the conversation went like this:

“Hello… yea… okay…”

I hung up my cell phone by throwing it down on the floor as I could and it bounces up over the front seat and gets lost somewhere in my car all day.

I went into work. Fuming. I told a friend that I was pretty pissed and I didn’t want to go stomping around work. I asked her if she saw me upset or mad that if she could give me a heads up.

Later that day, she calls out, “Hey Joe!” and gives me the goofiest face ever.

Man, I love my friends.

The year of 2006 got better and better.

I accomplished goals 2, 3 and 4.

I still didn’t know how to accomplish number 1.

Still life was good.

Yea, I was still addicted to porn.

Yea, I was still bitter towards my father.

Yea, I was still angry at my ex-wife.

But all things considering, life was good.