I Am Living Proof

God loved that porn actress & porn actor.

God loved my child molesting father.

God loved my ex-wife.

God loved me.

And His grace was sufficient to save us all.

And His death on the cross saved me.

I walked into my apartment, fell to my knees and I prayed:

Dear God,

I suck at this. I suck at living this life You have given me. I have pissed it all away. I don’t know what I am doing.

The best I can do with my life: lust, hatred, divorce, anger, bitterness… I lay it at Your feet. I cannot handle it anymore.

My life is Yours. Take it now.

I don’t know if You can fix me a piece of shit like me. I don’t want to go on living if I have to live without You. But if You can use this piece of crap, then I am Yours forever.

You tell me what I need to do and I will not flinch. My life is only worth something if I am serving You alone.

I don’t cared about being healed. I don’t care about being made whole. I don’t care about being made righteous. I don’t care about being made holy.

All I want is to serve You. All I want to do is to love You.

I am not moving without You.

Take me.

Wouldn’t you know?

God reached down and with one touch, He shattered every chain that wrapped around me. God reached for my heart and made it new. God healed me from all the shames, guilts and wounds I carried. God reached down, picked me up and love on me like nobody else could.

In other words, I don’t wrestle with lust. I don’t wrestle with porn. When I gave it all up to God, everything that I struggled with, everything, He took it from me and simply took care of it.

I have not seen a nude body in one year. I saw the back of a lingerie catalog and it was like I was 10 years old. Like I have never seen a nude or even semi-nude female body before. I knew that sight was going to be reserved for whomever my wife will be if it is God’s will for me to marry again.

It is not like God did a reset on me. It is that God made me a new being all over again.

You want to know what’s better than that?

God took this piece of trash and the very best that I can possibly do and turned into into what He does best: receiving all the glory. No one else can possible lay claim to what He has done in my life.

For God is the only one who heals.

For God alone is righteous.

For God alone is holy.

For God alone is worthy of all of our praise.

For God alone is good.

If you have read this series this far, don’t think for a second that God is too small or too aloof to make you complete and new and heal you from all of your wounds.

This is the same God who laid the foundations of the earth with one hand and stretched the heavens with the other (Isaiah 48:13). The very God who knows the exact number of the stars in the sky and gave them all names (Psalm 147:4).

The same God who knew you before you were born (Psalm 139.13-16). The same God who sent His only Son to die on the cross so that you would not have to die but live forever (John 3:16). The same God who promised us that we would not be comfortless but sent His very Spirit to comfort us in our time of need (John 14:16-18).

Jeremiah 32:27 “Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?

The answer to that would be an astounding “No”.

But know this much: the Almighty God has to be the Lord over you and first in your life. No other gods, ideas, thoughts, wishes, dreams or ideas can come before Him. It is against His very nature to not be in first place in your life.

I promise you, if you let Him be your God in all and all, He will absolutely comfort you, provide for you, strengthen you, give you endurance, give you joy and give you love.

I know this because I am absolute living proof of all the promises that are listed in God’s Word.

I am not special. I am not ordain. I am not set aside for something special. Simply, I love God with all of my heart and soul and I am fully obedient to His will.

Our God is mighty to save us all.