Do Me A Favor: Never Ever Order A Steak ‘Well-Done’

by Joseph Louthan

To order a steak ‘well-done’, culinarily speaking, is the equivalent to ask for your red meat to be burnt. Chemically, this makes sense but in the restaurant kitchen, the results are even worse:

By ordering ‘well-done’, you have just increased the time of cooking your order by four-fold... the kitchen will simply throw your steak into the microwave to finish in time. So what was the difference between that steak and a TV dinner? Exactly.

1. Since you’ve just ordered your steak to be burnt, there is no way you care whether or not you get a good cut of beef. Sure you are going to get that ribeye you’ve just ordered but chances are, those less-than-desirable cuts were saved for people who really don’t care about their steak… people, who would ordered a burnt piece of meat, for example.

2. By ordering ‘well-done’, you have just increased the time of cooking your order by four-fold over properly ordering the cut medium-rare or even rare in some cases. In order to make sure that the rest of the plates don’t get cold, the kitchen will simply throw your steak into the microwave to finish in time. So what was the difference between that steak and a TV dinner? Exactly.

I understand that you don’t want to be sick over a undercooked piece of protein but don’t confuse beef with chicken. Chicken is riped with all kinds of awesome bacteria and there is no dish in the world that calls for undercooked chicken unless as part of the dining experience means that you are glued to your toilet for the next 24 hours. Beef, not so much. There are many dishes that call for raw beef such as carpaccio which are thinly sliced or pounded raw pieces of beef, usually topped with a salad or Parmesan or both. My favorite is Yuk Hoe, a Korean dish with seasoned raw beef topped with raw egg.

Are there risks in eating raw beef? Sure but there are risks in no matter what you eat. Even something as healthy as spinach is not above being tainted.

To those reading, nodding in total agreement, let me challenge you to never let loved ones order well-done. The next time you’re with someone who orders a burnt piece of meat, stop them and insist that they order it medium rare. If they don’t like it, you will pay for their steak and get them what they like. Chances are, they have always had steak well-done and never really tasted steak to begin with.