I read the articles on Todd Bentley (article) and Michael Guglielmucci (article) and I keep thinking about three promises in the Bible.

My first instincts were “Ugh!”, “What the crap!”, “Why should I be surprised!” and insert whatever thoughts I can think to make me all high and mighty and better than those guys.

But the Holy Spirit quickly pulled that flaming arrow of pride out.  Yea, I have fallen harder and more often than those guys put together.  I suck and I am absolutely nothing with my Father.

But in all of that, God reminded me of His promises and His covenant.  I was chatting with my friend this morning and asked her, “What should we pray for now?”.  She said, “Protection for the hearts of the sheep and dependence upon the Lord’s leadership alone.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself.

First and foremost, God always takes care of His sheep.  He is truly the Good Shepherd.  He is our Father, Shield, Rescuer and Portion:

Jeremiah 23:1-4 (NKJV) “Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep of My pasture!” says the Lord. Therefore thus says the Lord God of Israel against the shepherds who feed My people: “You have scattered My flock, driven them away, and not attended to them. Behold, I will attend to you for the evil of your doings,” says the Lord. “But I will gather the remnant of My flock out of all countries where I have driven them, and bring them back to their folds; and they shall be fruitful and increase. I will set up shepherds over them who will feed them; and they shall fear no more, nor be dismayed, nor shall they be lacking,” says the Lord.

I know that most or at least some have been hurt by spiritual leaders in the past.  It is sometimes hard to read this passage and think, “Why isn’t God doing something right freakin’ now?!”.   Remember, God does His will in His perfect timing.  Remember that all leaders (kings, presidents, etc.) are appointed by Him alone.

God is completely Sovereign in all of this.  We trust in Him.  At the same time, He will take care of you.  He will heal your heart.  He will make you whole.

God speaks to us:

Jeremiah 16:1-2 (NKJV) The word of the Lord also came to me, saying, “You shall not take a wife, nor shall you have sons or daughters in this place.”

I am of the belief that being married is not a result of a series of random events. Everything that happens happens for a reason.

I am knee deep into the Book of Jeremiah and this verse jumped out at me (as well as chapters 1, 2, 7, 8, 9, 21, 22, etc.). This got me to thinking:

If we are obedient to God, call on His name, are utter dependent on Him and abide by His will and not our own, then if He needed you not to marry, He would have said so directly.

If we listen to God when we want to, lean on Him only when times are tough, try to live this life by our own strength and just do things when we want to, then life is going to be a series of random events that might include getting married.

I get this strange feeling that because we Christians lift and exalt the idea of marriage (some as a backlash to the easy going nature of the world when it comes to marriage and divorce) to such a level that once we get into marriage and that was a covenant with God then our lives will be blessed.

In other words, are we putting marriage and the idea of being married before our God? Are we making it our idol?

Writer Ashley Weis said it best in a recent article:

I want to be enough. I want my husband to love me, to notice me and only me. I want to be the most beautiful, astounding, heart-throbbing woman in the world to him. I want to be enough!

When thoughts like those enter my soul I step back and realize that every one of them begins with “I.” None has to do with God.

My idealistic view of marriage was selfish. I wanted my husband to validate my beauty as a woman. I wanted to feel loved and enough. I made his struggle with sexual sin about me. How could I ever support him if I kept making this about me?

Being married doesn’t automatically make it the will of God. The entire life lesson about abide and submitting to the will of God that is learned is that it is not about me but it is all about Him. It is not mine but Thine will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

When God started quickly answering my prayer requests not too long ago, it broked and humble me again. I soon realized that I was afraid to go to God with the big and scary questions not because I couldn’t ask God but rather I was scared to get the answer I wasn’t looking for.

In this last week, I took it all to God: the big and the scary questions. Whatever I came up with, He answered them one right after the other. God kept confirming what I was doing over and over again. “Search My heart. Love others as I love you. That girl you keep asking about? Continue to honour and lift her up. Keep serving your ex-wife. Keep showing others My heart.”

Strangely enough, none of the answers were “Wait”.

For the last year, I was all set out to wait two, three, five years or the rest of my life to let God complete His work within me. But all of a sudden, God kept encouraging, edifying and strengthening me and keeps blessing me with His knowledge, wisdom and endurance over and over again. I keep getting pushed into ministry opportunites over and over again. (The salvation of one 6 year old girl weighs heavily on my heart.) Holy Spirit keeps telling me to talk to this person and that person. I keep engaging and uplifting others.

Yet, I never grow weary or tired of it. Yet I want to do more.

Again, the journey is incredible. Praise God from whom all blessings flow.

This is not going to be the deepest post you ever read.

I had dinner over with my son at his home with my ex-wife.  I got up and cleared the dishes and started to wash them.

Yes. I wash dishes for my ex-wife.

I sat there at the sink and I prayed a simple prayer, “Father, how do I show my ex-wife, my son and all others Your Heart?”.  God responds, “Look at what you are doing.  I know your heart so keep serving.  You keep serving because I am your strength.  You keep loving others because I love you.”

My response to God, “Done.  Let us get to work.”

Just some genius from LifeChurch.tv in Edmond, Oklahoma.

Genius quote: “If we break up, this does not mean it wasn’t special to me.”

Trust me, it is a very serious question.I was having this discussion with the better half of one of my accountability partners after reading the first comment on Lori’s blog.

After years of being misunderstood of her giving heart, Shelley finally came to the conclusion that it was okay to give and keep giving of yourself. So many years in my marriage, I was being told/programmed by my wife that I couldn’t help others, especially women, since they are going to end up falling in love with me and thus, I would cheat on my wife. Helping others were taking away from the fact I was not helping my wife with all of my attention and devotion.

I never once cheated on her. However, something else transpired in those 10 years of marriage. It is in my head that I equated the following: being married means I cannot help those in need.

Seriously.

After speaking to counselors on my diehard stance of never remarrying, inside I am trying to figure out “Why do I not want marriage for myself?” In my little head, I think that once I remarry, I can’t do the work that God has for me to do.

Talk about carrying around pieces of a broken covenant. Sheesh. Thankfully God is the only one who can mend my heart to anew.

Going back to my original question: so how did Jesus do it? He did wonderful works and had wonderful insight for both women and men as He walked on this earth. Surely one of those women thought He was “dreamy” or was it something so supernatural that everybody who met with Him saw Him for whom He really was: the Son of the Everlasting God.

In other words, is it even feasible for me to minister, counsel or encourage women just because I am a man?

But then I reminded myself of several things. If I am fully dependent on God, then:

1. God is my Protector - He will protect me and setup boundaries when I need them
2. God is my Wisdom - Whenever I give words of encouragement or discernment, it absolutely cannot be me speaking for me but God speaking through me
3. God is Sovereign - One of my daily prayers is for God to give me the opportunity to give Him the glory and the opportunity to show others His heart.

If all of those points are always in full effect, then I can speak to anybody that God sends my way. He will protect others as He has protected me.

Naive of me? Perhaps.

Thoughts?