I Am Living Proof

This is why we need prayer.  Everyday.  For all things.

Not as soon as Jean prayed for me, I had a battle last night.

Let me say that because my strength and shield are of God that nearly all the time, I feel nigh invincible.

I am not so cocky that things won’t get to me and hurt me.  I know they will.  I am fighting a battle.  I am in a war.  I can’t expect to fight and not get hurt in a serious way.  But whatever injuries, critical, crippling or otherwise, I know my God will protect, heal, deliver and restore.  My God has it all.  Whom shall I fear?

Then just last night, I was helping out a friend who used to be in porn and saved by the grace of God Almighty.  Unfortunately, she still has images/videos all over the internet many of which she has no control over.

She wanted me to respond to a myspace wall post from a guy.  So I go to the guy’s myspace page to send him a message by posting a comment when I have to scroll to the bottom of his profile.

Let us say we know now he is an “old” fan of my friend.  In other words, he had a picture of my friend that I wish I hadn’t seen.

In the past, that one pic would have broken me.  Satan and his armies launched a million exploding arrows upon me day after day and this time, one hit me square in the chest.

This time, I felt the sting of the pierce.  I feel my skin lit on fire.  I smell the stench of cooked human flesh as the arrow exploded.  I hear the armies of Satan laugh with a victorious roar.  It is enough to take the breath out of me.

I know the arrow is there.  I know it hurts like all hell.  My mind wanted to race a million miles a minute and ease the pain away.  The flesh knew what to do.  My flesh thought he had life again.

But my spirit is born and sustained by God.  Without stopping in my tracks and through gritted teeth and eyes full of tears from the pain and torment, God reached out, pulled that arrow out and healed of my pain.  In my joy and thankfulness, I reached out to His hand, kissed it and told him, “I love You”.

This is how God is so good.  Glory to God in the highest.

I found out about Erica’s testimony from tweet sent by Crissy to several people, including Crystal in which in her response piqued my interest on what the heck she was talking about.

Man, I love social networking.

Now Crystal has Crissy as a guest blogger this week sharing her testimony in the post, Guest Blogger: Porn Star.

No matter what you can throw at God, He is almighty and all powerful and completely invulnerable to the best you can give to Him.  However, He can’t destroy it until you throw it at Him.

All He wants you to do is give up and let Him take care of everything.

Read Crissy’s post and leave some love over there.

Anybody who has read my testimony knows that this will hit really closer to home:

Club Erica Campbell

I am very familiar with her name and her career.

What is wonderful is that I see her picture now and she looks nothing like she did. She has beauty that could only come from Christ Jesus our Lord and Saviour.

As my spirit cries out in joy, what else can I do but praise His holy name.

Who is like our God and who dares to even compare to Him.

Let me tell you how my last 5 minutes unraveled

Gmail shows I have an email from Classmates.com.

I thought, “This might be legit because back in 1996 I halfway filled out a profile before realizing I wasn’t going to pay a fee per month just to look up old classmates of mine.”

Alas, I didn’t have a Gmail account then.  In fact, no one did.  Gmail wasn’t around until 2004.

No alarms.

In this email was a link to Blogger website.  “Umm,” I wondered, “that is a mystery because how could somebody spam their blog to people who have merely halfway registered with Classmates.”

Now all the geeks reading this have the spam/phish alarms going off in their heads.  I swear I have those same alarms.  I hope I do after being a professional geek for 15 years

Alas, just wonderment.

No alarms.

Clicked on link.  End result: porn.

In the past, I would have been furious at several things.  One, naturally being my own stupidity.  Two, at Gmail for their recently weakened spam filters.

But in one split nanosecond, I ceased to become angry because I quickly realized one thing:

I couldn’t see past the top 25 pixels on the site.

From just the top of the website, I knew it was porn.  Without having to look at the rest of the website page, I calmly click the Close Tab x in Firefox.

Then I shared with my boss and co-workers.  Apparently, I am going to Geek Jail for being so lame.

Sixty-four days since the day that God sent an answer to prayer.

I knew when I wrote that post that something was going to happen. I didn’t know what but I knew God was in control.

In that time, my faith in…

God answering all of my questions

God being my Healer

God being my Portion

God being my Strength

God being my Joy

Forever

… has only not been moved but has only solidified to the point I simply don’t know of any other way, that is, God is not my Healer or God is not my Portion.

Even still, I can’t even accept the fact that God is even sometimes my Healer, Portion, Strength or Joy even when I don’t do good works because that flies in the face of what I know God to be: the same yesterday, today and forever.

My brain cannot accept any other fact because it is all I know. It is a fact, like we breathe air in order for our bodies to function or 2+2=4, that God is my everything and all in all.

On top of all that, God spoke into me gifts of leadership, discernment and visions/dreams. He spoke that I will be remarried soon (was never at the forefront of my thoughts but God’s will is His will). He spoke that I will shake this planet.

Only God gets the glory. I don’t want any part of it because I am not even close to being worthy. Even I wanted it, I am still not worthy.

In the last 64 days, I used to think that God will move. Now I know He will.

How, I am not sure.

No matter what will happens, I am still utterly dependent on who His is in me.

Let us see what happens.