I Am Living Proof

God, I just wanted healing for these infections upon my heart.  I didn’t want to be in pain any longer.  I didn’t want to collapse because my heart failed me.

But what if this is my thorn?  But what if this is my broken hip?  But what if this is my firstborn who died after a week?

Then let me stumble over and over again if that means I always looking to You.  Let me constantly collapse if that means I long after You.  Let me fail a million times over if that means I stay desperate after You.

You alone are my heart’s delight. There is none I desire besides You.

ht: Matt Chandler’s Sovereign Over all (Luke Part 5)

After a bit of an email exchange with somebody, I got a prayer over me.  It is so good that I could not help but share (with her complete blessing, of course):

“Having said all that, and having explored your site a little bit more this p.m., my prayer for you is that you never see another naked woman in the flesh again, because I pray that the next naked female form you see and hold will be so beautifully clothed in God’s righteousness that you’ll KNOW that you’re making love to her spirit a much as to her body, and that the whole thing would constitute an eternal covenant between you, her, and your (plural) Savior.”

Yea.

Wow.

My recent prayers have been really intense and honestly, I hardly know what to pray over because there is so much to pray for.

Knowing my cries, Holy Spirit then showed me some things that I need to pray for myself based on: Psalm 25 especially this gem in verses 4 & 5:

Psalm 25:4-5 (NKJV)

Show me Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me,
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day.

To be honest with you guys, I don’t know how to be a man.  I used to not be good with finances.  I suck at being a husband.  Was a terrible dad.  I didn’t even take care of my body.

I may not know how to do those things.  But God does.  Therefore, I ask Him to be my Teacher.

Also…

Promise of God: Psalm 26:1b (NKJV) …I have also trusted in the Lord; I shall not slip.

Blessing of God: Psalm 20:4 (NKJV) May He grant you according to your heart’s desire,
And fulfill all your purpose.

I am at this time in my life where I should be worrying or fearing or doubting God and the desires of my heart.  Instead, in this moment, my spirit beat the snot out of my flesh and thus, I praise and worship the Lord Most High with a heart full of joy.

I found out about Erica’s testimony from tweet sent by Crissy to several people, including Crystal in which in her response piqued my interest on what the heck she was talking about.

Man, I love social networking.

Now Crystal has Crissy as a guest blogger this week sharing her testimony in the post, Guest Blogger: Porn Star.

No matter what you can throw at God, He is almighty and all powerful and completely invulnerable to the best you can give to Him.  However, He can’t destroy it until you throw it at Him.

All He wants you to do is give up and let Him take care of everything.

Read Crissy’s post and leave some love over there.